Archive for Hate

Hard Candy

July 8, 2008 · Filed under Hate

Hard Candy is one hell of a sicko movie… Everything is not what it seems. It’s about this little girl trying to punish this paedophile for his raping and killing this 1, ONE, child or adolescent. There was this one scene, where Hailey, the main character, castrates Jeff, the paedophile. She slowly taunts Jeff, making him beg, threat, bargain, negotiate, and plea for her sympathy.

This i think is one of the few movies which actually stimulate my feelings. A feeling which for a long time i have kept silent. Ignited by the fact that, although the paedophile was guilty, no an should ever feel the entire process of castration awake and with local anaesthetic. It is this feeling of helplessness, and the character which enjoys watching people being helpless that makes me fired up.

This fire, is not that type of gung-ho enthusiasm type, but this sense of … Hate… Coming from my gut and moving towards my forehead, feeling my temporal artery beat. Few movies can do so, and as of this moment.

I am feeling hate.

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I hate it when you say you are helpless. In fact you aren’t helpless at all. You just don’t want to help yourself. Pick yourself up and don’t just lay there in the sewage pond. Get up!

I hate it when people are looking out for you and your fucking ass, only to be stepped on and be smothered by your feet all over the ground.

I hate it when you buy excessive food, and you don’t finish it, and push it to other people. I’m not saying that i don’t appreciate you being sweet, but it’s just 1 time too many and i hope you ask me first before you buy something for me. I really really don’t want to waste any of your money already. I owe you too much.

I hate it when you push responsibilities around, involving other people who, and because of your shit, they have to sacrifice their time to mop up the mess u made.

I hate it when you whine, and you don’t take action, and you whine some more, but at the back, you’re just doing your thing, hoping that it somehow happens.

I hate it when I want to talk, you have to butt in, or strike down whatever i want to say. If whatever you want to say is so much more important than mine, then just say so, and i will keep my silence to myself. ( I need to work on this too…)

I hate it when you just drift off to him/her, sacrificing us. I know it can be nice to be 1 on 1, but i hope someday you will know how i feels.

I hate it when I am so gullible to other people, unable to just put a firm NO with a simple “i just don’t want to ” reason.

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Yea, my hate is being reduced every time i open a new “i hate it when…” till the point i have no hate at all, and am feeling quite happy now.

Am so sorry if i hurt anyone, am being as ambiguous as possible already… And it’s just my feelings le and it can happen to me too. And if it does, please be as frank (or un-frank) as me, and tell it to my face.

CB out

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Germany 0 – 1 Spain

June 30, 2008 · Filed under Hate, Rants

I stayed up all the way till 5, just to watch Germany being cut down by Spain. During the exams, all i had were newspapers to keep me updated the team that was my favourtite to win the title Best in Europe. I had this very colorful image of Germany players, though down by a goal, come back unexpectedly to strike 3 goals in the injury time.

I had this image, that Germany, finally had gotten their act together as a team unlike in the World Cup, where new players like Lukas Podolski and Bastian Schweinsteiger injected new blood and enthusiasm, as well as an undying hunger for silverware.

Alas, as i watched my first and final live match during the Euro 2008, i was treated to a very sludgy, porous defending, careless, and rowdy Team Germany. Passes being given away, letting Torres through a very spongy defence, crosses that end up at the press box and headers given to the much shorter team members of Spain.

They lost 1-0, but it was enough to pry the hearts of all German football fans. As i drove to school today, i heard on the radio that Joachim Loew is proud of his team’s achievement in that they actually made it to the finals.

Screw that.

You (team Germany) disappointed the whole of Germany by not making through, by not lifting the prized chrome reflective trophy that is the apple in every european footballer’s eye. You did not perform your best, did not give it everything you’ve got in your tanks, that ultiamtely lead to the failure of your whole project.

I can only hope, in the coming World Cup, i do not see a repeat of this kind of performance. They played like highschool children against a very mature, talented and athletic Spain.

The Shame…

CB out

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Wanted

June 28, 2008 · Filed under Happenings, Hate, Rants

What have you done today?

-Wesley Gibson

Wanted

If your life is running low on cathecholamines, beautiful cars, a dream of one day to become somebody, and of course, the beautiful Angelina Jolie, then this movie is for you. Adrenaline was pumping through  my whole body throughout the entire show and left me quite exhuasted after the show ended. A must watch for any movie connoisseurs. This time, i watched together with a big group, namely Wen Chung, Ramzi, Khine Khine, Sook Fen, Sharon, Sandy, Yen Bee, Alicia Si, and not forgetting, Ahmad Ridah Rooney (fualao i love his name man!).

The desert eagle damn chun lo… Oh yea!! Jolie is damn chun also!!

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Went out to Asia Cafe tonight to hang out with my music band buddies (kelvin, Anthony, Ming Hui, and Sanjeet). There is a certain someone that i am seriously pissed (ok lah… more like unhappy) about. However, one day, if he does it again, i would like to diss it in front of his face and tell him off. But till then, my lips are sealed tight. Anyway… I still managed to have fun tonight! Playing pool and getting my head shot at a few times was for the most part very entertaining. I particularly liked the sound and actions of the 9mm Glock pistol that was on Counter Strike Source! It has a nicer ring to it than in Condition Zero.

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Ohoh!!! Germany will be going against Spain for the Euro 2008 Finals! I really do hope Germany will take the crown!!! Will be watching it with my dad over beer and peanuts!!

Am seriously bummed out tonight, will sleep, and probably not wake up till the sun hits my buttocks.

CB out

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Shut Up

May 12, 2008 · Filed under Hate, Rants

You know, blogs are a way of certain people to express themselves. A platform where no one is judged, and freedom of speech complies. Other than throwing racial, political, and of course sexist remarks, anything else is actually very much amusing, interesting, a creative net of thoughts and ideas coming together.

It is an insult to call these blogs “rubbish”. To say blogs are rubbish are like saying the very words that come out from your very mouth is rubbish.

M206, I know I’m not in any way close to anyone from the batch. I have made my fair share of mistakes and the price I’m paying is seclusion from the batch. For whatever way I have wronged anyone who is reading this, I’m truly sorry. I’d have done otherwise should I have understood the consequences of my actions earlier.

Do you even know why you are secluded even? Search deep inside you and ask yourself. Read that post of your’s many times, and put yourself in the position of that blog-which-you-will-not-name’s shoes.

I cannot stand someone judging another person like that. You are neither superior nor even worthy of such comments.

So please, I urge you,

Shut the Fuck Up…

CB out

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Friendshit

May 4, 2008 · Filed under Emo, Hate, Rants

This is going to be an emo post…sadly…

I’ve heard quite a lot of anecdotes today about friendship. Verbally, visually, and literally.

It saddens me really to see that what i come to lean myself on, can be actually a house full of termites that will easily tumble down like a deck of cards.

Faking is not alien to me… nor do i think it is alien to anyone. Everyone tries to fit in. Everyone tries to please one another so as to be accepted. God knows how many times i have not shown my true face. God knows how long i haven’t shown my true identity. God knows even if i remember how i actually look like.

I have a very close friend of mine that recently got back stabbed (sort of la…) by her friend. This friend claims himself to be her friend above else, and is thinking about her own good by doing so and so. But at the back, he is sharpening his murder weapons, waiting for the right opportunity to drive a killing blow into her.

This seriously pains me. I do not know why people can do such things. I cannot see myself doing such things. I somehow have developed a conscience towards such deeds that repel me or shock me back to the road of Right. Then again, how am i to know that i won’t change in the future and unleash the bitch that is me? Eff… this goes back to my original theory of not trusting anyone at all… I don’t like that.

I am quite honored that i am your safe. All of you… I WILL honor your trust and lock all your stuff as deep in my heart as possible. If i have angered or wronger any of you (this goes to everyone actually), please come up, don’t be shy, and stab me a few times… slap me out of my delusion.

I noticed that i know a lot of people. But do all these people know me? People say i am popular (walau syok-nya), but i don’t think so… i don’t feel popular to say the least. Moreover I only understand deeply a handful of people i know. It is nice to know all you guys and i feel blessed, but somehow, it isn’t enough.

There are a few people that know me inside out. I will not reveal who these people are here, you know who you are. I am deeply grateful for all the crapping you have to take from me at times when i needed most and i hope that i return the favor by being there for you peeps when you needed it most.

“Those who mind don’t matter, those who matter don’t mind”

Haha…you are a hypocrite la… and i still somewhat disagree with this statement. It is described as an anaesthetic at best. Further thought reveals that i do mind those who don’t matter.

Why do i go to such trouble to mind insignificant miniscule microscopic detail? Such is the mind of an atheist… I am leaning towards this side of the fence, but i am not sure it is for my own gain, or for others, or for something else.

Whatever…

I am at a state where (again) i couldn’t care less…

CB out

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Humid

April 29, 2008 · Filed under Hate, Rants

This is a rant…i think…

Walau eh~~~

I tell you….
if u can stand Malaysia’s weather…
you can survive almost any other place la…

People just popped into the shower,
wash wash wash,
come out,
wipe self dry.
And the next momment,
you drench again…

Walau…

I tell u la…
why the eff can’t it snow here?
or at the very least,
if you want to have high temperature climate,
please la don’t put humidity 175% la!!!
Fresh water now so hard to find,
you want us to shower how many times in a day?!?!

Walau…

People no money open aircon la…
Put fan also don’t dare to on high high…
now force us to turn that knob of doom,
fan now going 50000 revs per minuite,
sucking energy as much as switching on aircon.

Walau…

Global warming now le…
more energy usage equals more carbon in air…
more carbon in air equals more insulation in air…
more insulation in air equals increase heat…
increase heat equals more drenching…
more drenching equals more turning of the knob…
more turning of the knob equals more sucking of energy…
more energy usage equals more carbon in air…
more carbon in air equals more insulation in air…
more insulation in air equals increase heat…
increase heat equals more drenching…
more drenching equals more turning of the knob…
more turning of the knob equals more sucking of energy…

Walau…
type oso type till wanna die dy…
don’t wanna type dy la~~
CB out

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F.U.B.A.R

February 8, 2008 · Filed under Emo, Hate, Joy, Rants

HELL….

EFF….

I hate studying till i have nothing else more to study…

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On a completely different note,

I wonder if my senses are blunt, dull…or probably both…

Maybe that’s the problem with my broken self.

Haha…

This is going no where.

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Friends rock…

but it is getting boring already.

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Granado Espada Rocks…

but it is getting boring already.

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I want my dream girl.

Sadly, i don’t have a dream girl.

Sigh.

Doesn’t mean I’m quitting though.

Uncle Johan really stepped me twice today,

Saying that Adrian had IMU girls swarm all over him,

And he rejected all of them,

for the simple reason of not wanting to let his parents down.

Wow.

Your’re a jerk.

And I can’t believe I have a jerk for an uncle.

Heh.

CB out

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