Cloud Castle

You know that feeling? Where when you just open a door into a room full of people, and the minute those people saw you, a smile just floods over their face. They start approaching you, arms extended, grabbing your hands like a hungry third world country boy grabs UN supplies, voicing “Hey [insert name here]!! It’s been quite some time!! Why so late???”. Then you smile or laugh back at them, returning their hand shakes and their hugs as though you’ve found something that you’ve lost for a long time.

Yea… i really kinda miss that feeling. I miss that statistic where you recognize 1 in 5 people that goes pass you in school. I feel quite alienated in a very lonely place, where just very suddenly, all of my friends have just quite literally died. And there’s this voice in my heart yelling “Hey!! there’s something not quite right here…”. The halls of IMU are now littered with unfamiliar faces, all of which makes me feel more and more like a first year.

Then i kinda look back in the days where we were in our prime. Strutting the corridors as if we owned the place. In groups, we would lunch together, study together, do shit together… Now’s quite impossible to do all that, and it’s just a month since BmedScience started.

Don’t get me wrong. I still have awesome company like brain, the punjab, the pooch, the massy, and the silly girl. Of which we hang out, do shit, entertain each other, and look out for one another. And i have my houseamtes, kim, joon, sarah, kwan and a bunch of others, who just complete my campus life in IMU. However the feeling is just not quite the same anymore.

I’ve been moving from place to place frequently almost all my life, where i had to adapt to changing environments, with new friends, faces, foods, and situations. But this is the first time i am feeling this emptiness. Maybe this is because it’s the first time i’ve ever bonded so closely to my batchmates before. Or to have the privillege for having awesome people surround me. The dilution effect of friends going overseas to study is quite devastating in a sense that there’s just no one to crap with you any longer.

I miss you guys, yet

Adaptation is needed…

CB out

It’s been a long journey. Traveling through thick and thin, mending bruises and cuts, psychological attacks and crap being thrown at me. It finally comes down to this, the end of semester 5 exams.It’s sad to think that my last entry here would be a post to commemorate the hard work each and everyone of the 185 students in the batch has put into the exam. So much so, that they could not really enjoy Christmas, nor the coming new year in 24 hours time.No Christmas shopping, nor any Chinese new year clothes shopping. In fact this whole month doesn’t even seem remotely festive.

Some of us could not even get a whiff of fresh air, as we mug through the endless pile of files, filled with power point notes and PBL word documents just to claim that they have at least gone through something in preparation for the almighty test. They fire questions at each other, and depending on how much you know, could actually cause you to break down at the fact that you are in fact not ready for the exams, or euphoric as you realize that you are somehow almost competent.

Life is in black and white these days. The only technicolor days are days with my significant other and i cherish and treasure every single second i am with her. Somehow, her presense just makes this whole endeavor bearable at the very least. She listens to my troubles, and i get to listen to hers, which is for the most part for me, very stress relieving!

So this is how I am going to end my year 2008, bringing it into a sad anti climatic halt with a note of impending doom leeming above my head that is the exams. Sad…

To all my batchmates of M206, i bid thee the best of the luck in the coming exams~

To everyone else, have a wonderful new year ahead, drink safe, drive safe, bla bla bla, and of course always remember to be happy~

CB out

Sorry, bit random.

I just got out of the bathroom, and i just laughed… a genuine laugh…

thinking of it…

i couldn’t remember the last time i genuinely laughed…

It’s ok to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them

Fuck that la, i’ve been making so many mistakes… can’t learn a single shit… bad habits returning or just simply won’t go away…

useless

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Cheer up, it’s a new day

Fuck that also la, the problems that weren’t solve the day before will not resolve just because a new day just started

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You’re the nicest person i’ve ever met

Fuck that too… Being nice is one thing… being too nice is another… I’m too nice…But i appreciate the compliment~

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Just go up to her

Yea… when i fell like it… Fuck this one more… (not the go up to her part)… You’re the biggest wuss i’ve ever seen… But then again… you don’t really know what you want now right? refer “you’re the nicest person i’ve ever met”

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Friends are forever

Whao, i’d double fuck this statement la… No friends are forever, in fact, friends are useless… once they found out that your symbiotic prescence is replaced by a parasitic infection, they’ll just oust you and there goes your friend forever…

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Patients is a virtue

Fuck patience la… i was patient throughout the night tonight, look what it brought me? Ok la… partly my fault for going there so late…

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ok la… enough la… i wanna sleep dy…

CB out

This is my first post in like what? almost a month? and this post will mark a day which i think will be the lowest among the lows…

The day started with me having the biggest cold in history… why did god ever give us the ability to bleed water from our noses in the first place? Even if it is for defence purposes, please don’t makes us sick and lethargic throughout the day. This produced my worst PBL since the first ever one, where i talked so little, i began to think about other stuff (i was thinking about nothing). This can be a curse or a blessing for my peers in the PBL, i am truly sorry i wasn’t able to contribute much in that session.

Fine.

After i had lunch with the gang, i went out to the pharmacist to get pseudoephidrine, which is i think the only drug in the market which can close the taps in my nose. I took a tablet and went to sleep for 3 hours, where i woke up to a state of tachcardia, dry mouth, weak muscles, and inability to concentrate.It is at this time, anthony, god bless him, called to invite me to Maisons where they had a free flow party again. I’m sorry for hanging up on you as you were annoying me quite a bit when i said i couldn’t come. I noticed my rudeness the instant i hung up and i felt guilty that i did so and i know you called me because my company was important to you guys (bangga sial). And so, i really thank you for not being angry at me. Thanks anthony.

Fine.

Went to lecture at 4.45, where Dr. Nilesh, one of the best in IMU, gave a lecture about the lumbar-sacral plexuses. Nothing went into my head as everything he said went pass my sub conscious like sand through my palms. It is quite apparent that i wasn’t myself and my gang could instantly pick it up. I’m sorry to you guys for not responding or emo-ing to you guys. Just really not in the mood.

Fine.

Went home to change and go out for Cat’s birthday, set to be at MongKok Restaurant in Pavillion. This was the single happy event throughout the day. We chat, teased, ate, and just plainly had fun. Effectively taking any sort of my thinking out of the way. I just had fun~ Happy Birthday Cat! However, the side effects of Pseudoephidrine was still kicking in top gear, and now there was an added symptom, nausea.

Due to my assumption that Kelvin and Anthony will be late, i waited till 9.45pm to leave pavillion, where i got on the road and headed to Maisons. God damn traffic lights. Traffic lights… why can’t the stupid works department set up sensors on the road to monitor traffic and change the stupid lights accordingly instead of giving the green to an empty road. Lousy pieces of shits that do not even orchestrate traffic smoothly… Jalan Sultan Ismail needs more U-turn points, and not just that single one at the mercedes benz outlet junction. Fuck traffic lights.

God (if there is one) must not want me to drink very badly as i hit one red light after another. And due to the amount of water i drank at the restaurant, and my kidney’s efficacy in clearing excess fluid from my body, i had to stop by a petrol station to relieve myself.

Fine.

When i finally got there, there wasn’t any parking. I went to the usual place where i always parked when we were at Maison’s, but the uncle there insisted i hand over my keys so that he can move and adjust cars so that none will obstruct the exit. I didin’t want to hand over my keys, so i headed out and parked at the junction just outside Maison’s, where i paid 10 bucks just to park.

Fine.

When i finally got in, it was 5 minutes to 11. I managed to down to whiskeys and 2 vodkas before the bar closed. This really pissed me off and i just sat there emo-ed through out the night. I must thank anthony, kelvin, sanjeet and yanni for inviting me to the free flow at maison’s today… And i must apologise, countless times, for my unenthusiastic attitude today… i see all you guys trying to cheer me up and it is my fault that your attempts were in vain… I’m sorry yanni for them treating you like that, but i really hope you had fun… i’m really sorry guys… I was just so down in the dumps nauseous and sleepy, that i just couldn’t really care about anything at that time. I’m really really sorry…

I wanna make it up to you guys on Thursday. I hope i can, and i hope all of you won’t have any bad feelings about me. i’m just really really sorry.

CB out