You know that feeling? Where when you just open a door into a room full of people, and the minute those people saw you, a smile just floods over their face. They start approaching you, arms extended, grabbing your hands like a hungry third world country boy grabs UN supplies, voicing “Hey [insert name here]!! It’s been quite some time!! Why so late???”. Then you smile or laugh back at them, returning their hand shakes and their hugs as though you’ve found something that you’ve lost for a long time.
Yea… i really kinda miss that feeling. I miss that statistic where you recognize 1 in 5 people that goes pass you in school. I feel quite alienated in a very lonely place, where just very suddenly, all of my friends have just quite literally died. And there’s this voice in my heart yelling “Hey!! there’s something not quite right here…”. The halls of IMU are now littered with unfamiliar faces, all of which makes me feel more and more like a first year.
Then i kinda look back in the days where we were in our prime. Strutting the corridors as if we owned the place. In groups, we would lunch together, study together, do shit together… Now’s quite impossible to do all that, and it’s just a month since BmedScience started.
Don’t get me wrong. I still have awesome company like brain, the punjab, the pooch, the massy, and the silly girl. Of which we hang out, do shit, entertain each other, and look out for one another. And i have my houseamtes, kim, joon, sarah, kwan and a bunch of others, who just complete my campus life in IMU. However the feeling is just not quite the same anymore.
I’ve been moving from place to place frequently almost all my life, where i had to adapt to changing environments, with new friends, faces, foods, and situations. But this is the first time i am feeling this emptiness. Maybe this is because it’s the first time i’ve ever bonded so closely to my batchmates before. Or to have the privillege for having awesome people surround me. The dilution effect of friends going overseas to study is quite devastating in a sense that there’s just no one to crap with you any longer.
I miss you guys, yet
Adaptation is needed…
CB out